I Am Not A Victim

I was adopted before my birth, by an amazing couple. My mom (through adoption) had given birth to a son 15 years previously and a daughter 12 years before I was adopted, but when she ended her first marriage she could not take care of two young children and thus gave her son to an older couple for adoption. My dad (through adoption) was her second husband, so when the opportunity arose to adopt a baby, she jumped at the chance. A few months later they got me! Whenever it was that my parents told me that I was adopted, I'm not sure. I simply remember that I can't remember a time that I didn't know I was adopted and I never once had any negative feelings about being adopted. In fact, I believed that being adopted made me special. My mom used to tell the story that she had to pull me aside one day and share with me that though she was glad I was excited about being adopted, I didn't need to tell everyone. Apparently, I would go up to anyone and say something like, "Hi, I'm adopted." I wouldn't come to understand until my teenage years that I had been adopting into a not well-to-do family. In fact, as the years went by, I came to learn just how many difficulties and disadvantages my parents faced, both in their pasts and their present. But one thing I never once felt from them was that they, or we, were victims, no matter what challenges they, or we, faced. There simply was no time to sit around feeling sorry for ourselves or time wasted wishing we got better breaks. Instead, the challenges and setbacks were accepted as part of life and we, (really they), would press on. We were never victims of what others did to us or victims of fate or an angry deity. I learned that life happens, sometimes in ways that are painful and even hurtful, and that what you did was figure out how you were going to respond and then get busy. We can't always choose what happens in life, but we have complete control of how we respond. I learned this from my adopted parents, John and Alice Felushko. They may never have realized how much, and at what a fundamental level, they have impacted every day of my life. I understood from a very young age that I was never a victim, because I always have choice. They taught me that I have complete control over what I choose to do and that I must accept responsibility for my choices. They taught me this, not so much with their words, but almost entirely by their day-to-day lives. And for that reason (and many more) I will be eternally grateful that, sight unseen, John and Alice Felushko adopted me!